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Arrow Tip: Find your Entourage
I’d be willing to bet you 20 chunky monkey Ben and Jerry’s ice cream pints that if I walk into a girl’s high school soccer team post-game dinner, 80% of the girls will be wearing sweat pants, a hoodie-likely grey-and some form of slip on sandals. And their hair would be pulled up in a messy bun. Or a pony tail.
I’ll double down and bet another 20 pints, that if I walked into a vinyasa yoga class, 90% of women would be wearing leggings and a tank top.
Neither of these are bad things. I am still a wearer of both wardrobes, but why is this so true?
I read this quote a few years ago that helps explain why we are so alike to our peers and friends:
“You are the average of the 5 people you hang out with most” -Jim Rohn
Growing up, I never gave much thought about the people I hung out with. If they liked to swing on the monkey bars and play foursquare with me at recess, then we were best friends. As I aged, I made friends mostly through athletics.
My whole life I have been fortunate to be surrounded by a supportive family, and teammate’s who have been equally driven to improve. They undoubtedly played a huge factor in getting me to where I am today. In soccer, every time I reached a higher level, I was surrounded by an even more determined group of girls whom would challenge me to grow my game.
This idea of being the average of the 5 people you hang out with most, may seem oversimplified, but think about the 5 people you hang out with the most. Do you have similar values and habits as them? Do you wear similar clothes?
You are of course your own unique self, but research continually shows the immense affect people have on our way of thinking, our self-esteem and our decisions.
A lot of times, we are affected at a subconscious level and don’t even realize people’s influence.
Wearing the same clothes as your friend is a superficial example, but our thoughts and actions are also heavily influenced by others too. If you hang around people who are always putting other people down, eating burger king, and watching tv all day, you’ll likely, often subconsciously, pick up similar habits. Similarly, if you’re around people who are working hard, showing you love, and filling you up, you’ll be propelled to be the same.
That’s why it’s crucial to surround yourself with people who support you and believe in you. Find people who have dreams of your caliber or greater. People who are doing what you want to be doing. People who are highly motivated and determined to be their best selves. They may have a different aspirations than you, but when they share that same underlying passion and drive, you will feel it. And then you’ll vibe off of one another’s vibes.
You may realize that there’s certain people in your life who always bring you down. Whether they make you guilty for not hanging out with them or are need or maybe they just aren’t evolving at the same rate as you.
One of the most difficult things in life is the feeling of guilt that comes from letting these people go, or even just changing the dynamic of certain relationships. But if you know who you are, and want to become, and you know deep down it’s what you need to do, trust that feeling.
Be grateful for the purpose they served in your life, and move on with no regrets.
Arrow Tip: Find Your Entourage
Note the 5 people you surround yourself with most. Are these people who you are helping you grow? Are these people challenging you, raising your average, helping you become you want to become? If yes, heck ya!!! If not, who are people you look up to? Who do you know or want to befriend that will help you become a better athlete and person? If you have to, weasel your way into that friend group
As I learned in Girl Scouts back in the day, “Make new friends and keep the old, some are silver and the other gold.”
Is it Girl Scout cookie season yet?
Below is a great in-depth article about this topic. It provides an excellent hand-on exercise to help you discover the type of person you want to be and the people you can surround yourself with to help assist this process.